Heart And Intuition
by Ryli-Rowen
Summary: Twenty years old and confused, Kim turns to the only person, who can understand her situation. A/N: The first paragraph is a quote, that I have recently been informed was written by Steve Jobs. I found it online one night, and is the inspiration for the first part of this story. Thanks, DragoLord19D, for the quote info. And Bravo Zulu.


"Your time is limited; so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition, they somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."

I blinked, looking up at the woman who stood in front of me. My life stood on the precipice of change, and I had come to her for… I don't know, advice maybe, or perhaps just to unload. Either way, here I was a sophomore in an Ivy League school; the least learned in my family, a genius by anyone's standards, and hero extraordinaire. Yet my life, as I knew it, could fall out from beneath me, with one wrong breath.

So why, you may be asking, have I, in near-hysteric-tears, gone to the woman, who use to get her kicks from beating the ever-living shit out of me, instead of the one, who has offered me nothing but nurturing and motherly love? It's simple, really. Unlike my mother, Shego (or rather, Shane Gogarty, as I've recently learned to call her) has walked this knife's edge at least once before in here life. Who am I kidding? She fucking swan-dove from it, laughing all the way down. And knowing Shane, as I do, she'd probably still be wallowing in the squalor of the villain underworld, if she hadn't been permitted to keep her ill-gotten wealth, after she'd been pardoned.

Are you as confused as I am yet? Well, maybe I can help some. You know, explain some of my conundrum. It starts with GJ. As you're probably aware, Global Justice has been chomping at the bit to sign me as an agent, for years. Betty was none to pleased with my decision to attend college, in the first place. She was assuaged a little, when I chose a school, which has a good Criminal Justice Program. Perhaps figuring, that would ultimately be less training to put me through. The only kink in that daydream is that I don't want to major in criminology of any sort.

My second dilemma; Ron proposed last week, and I've been biding my time in giving him an answer. I love him, really I do. It's just that, I'm not _in-_love with him. In truth, I'm not sure I ever really was. I guess it's true; people really do change a lot in college. Another reason I went to Shane, and not my mother. My parents would try to call it a phase, brought on by trying to fit in with the friends I've made in New England. Shane being one of them. But I've done phases before, and this doesn't feel like one. And, no, I don't think my family would disown me, or anything, if I did confess this to them. I don't think even Ron would, but he would be so hurt, and I hate being the cause of his pain.

Now that you're caught up, more or less, the big question. Do I continue with the life everyone sees me living, or leap from the chasm, cackling like a mad woman? This is the question that has been plaguing me all semester. And I have to find the answer before the week's end (well, the part that concern's school), if I don't want to extend my college career by a full semester, at least. The admissions' office starts breathing down the necks of all undeclared students, after the midterms of their third semester, applying pressure to declare a major. Preferably before the end of the term. If not, then expect to extend your stay.

As far as Ron is concerned, I don't have much of a choice. Either way, one of us comes out with the raw-end. One way, I'm miserable, and we both get sucked into an uneasy marriage. A union, that could very well end in the destruction of our very friendship. The other, Ron flat out has his heart broke. Given time, he'll mend, and find someone, who can love him in the way I can't. And there's still a chance, that he won't hate me forever.

"Hey, Princess? You alright?" Shane calls me back, and I blink again. I know I just spaced on her for a bit.

"Uh, yeah." I stammer. "Just -ah- thinking."

"Right…" She drawls, then dose something I don't expect. She pulls me across the empty space of the couch, and holds me in her arms. My cheeks flame red. She's part of the predicament with Ron. And knowing that she's gay doesn't help the moment. I've lain awake dreaming of such a thing too many nights. She pulls back, when I fail to relax in her hold. "Pumpkin?"

"Just not… I wasn't…" Mental faculties shout down one by one, lost in the sent and close proximity of her. It's always had an effect on me, even when we were fighting one another. Since her pardon, though, it's gotten far worse, to the point of complete distraction. Glancing up at her, I realize she's still so close. I can't help but gasp a little.

In truth, Shane's the root this whole sitch grew from. How? Well, it began on my eighteenth birthday. More truly, it was the day before my eighteenth birthday, and a Friday at that. The entire day went by without the slightest murmur of unease. No homework, Bonnie and Barkin both left me alone. Ron and Monique took me out to celebrate, knowing I would be spending Saturday with Nana, my parents, and the Tweebs. By the time I got home it was 11:30, and all I had to do was shower and get ready for bed. Simple enough, right? Wrong!

When I stepped from my en suite bathroom, the first thing I noticed was the curtain of the window fluttering in the breeze. The window, that was decidedly shut, when I went to take my shower. The second was the person reclining on my bed. Before I could do so much as twitch an eye, she spoke. "Hope you've enjoyed your day off, Kimmie. It ends on the stroke of midnight, tomorrow."

I pulled the pistachio colored towel more securely around my frame, as Shane sat up. Her bright jade eyes roaming over me, appreciatively. She smirked. "Always knew you'd look best, wrapped in nothing but green."

I'm not sure how it happened, but we somehow met in the middle of the room. One pale arm snaking around my waist, the other brushed wet hair from my cheek. I think I must have stopped breathing, when her lips met mine, and didn't start again, until she was gone. From what I remember, the kiss was soft, sweet, and slow. Starting as barely more than her lips hovering over mine. Unable to stop myself, I melted into her. The taste of her lips still lingers on mine, even now.

"Happy 'Sweet Eighteenth,' Princess." Shane murmured, then she was gone. The open window, and fluttering curtain, the only evidence that she was even there.

But that was nearly two years ago. Right now, I'm sitting here, still half in her embrace. Shane's already over thinking the situation, and I've been quiet for far too long. If I don't explain soon, she'll start to believe; that she overstepped a line that doesn't exists. I pull a smile onto my face, and take a deep breath, before talking. "Got lost in a memory."

"Oh yeah?" There's relief in her short question. "Which one?"

Unable to stop the smile playing on my lips, I scoot a little closer, and shrug playfully. "My eighteenth birthday."

That got her smiling, as her arms hold me more firmly. This time, I don't resist the embrace. As Shane talks, her voice hums in her chest. "Yeah, that's a good one."

There's barely enough time for me to take a breath, before I find myself between Shane and the cushions of her couch. Her mouth is fire and satin, scorching me with each kiss. I have the odd thought of trying to explain to my parents just why I have a scar in the shape of lips burned on my neck, and laugh. Shane has pulled back, and judging by the look I'm getting right now, I'd say laughter is a great way to kill a moment.

"There something I should know about, Princess?" One dark, finely manicured eyebrow is raised in what use to be a dangerous manner. I shake my head, and do my best to explain my sudden giggle fit. The two of us end up laughing for a good five minutes. By the time we manage to collect ourselves, my sides ache, and my cheeks are sore from laughing so hard.

"Would it be wrong for me to tell you, that you're amazing?" I ask.

Shane chuckles. "No. But only because it's true."

Pushing back her main of raven, I know I'm blushing again, as I softly ask. "What if I told you, that you're the most beautiful woman I've ever met?"

Shane smiles in response. "Thanks, Kimmie. I should warn you, though. I only let my girlfriend say that romantic crap to me. So you better dump the boy toy, before you go around saying that stuff, cause I don't share."


End file.
